The Art of Patience
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The Art of Patience
This is something I've written for myself.
As a reminder, in case I ever relapse into the same state of mind again, I will read this to myself. In front of a mirror for greater emphases.
Even though that might seem stupid. As some of the things mentioned here may seem obvious. But somethings are only obvious when mentioned. Otherwise they're not thought about or acted upon. And we continue without change.
What is the most important skill in making art? Is it perspective? Light and shadow?
No. It's patience. Because you can't develop or even use skills without it. As you need to be patient with yourself and be comfortable with your rate of progress, no matter how slow it may be.
Recently my art had taken a real nose drive. It had devolved into rushed chicken scratches. And I had to ask myself 'Why was I doing this?'. With the amount of rushed so called art work I was making, I could clearly make at least one nice thing as well, but instead I was pushing myself along at a speed that made it impossible to maintain the quality I had achieved in the past. I think the reason that I was doing this was because of some kind of artificial dead line I had set upon myself. And maybe I had missed it a long time ago. So I had grown impatient with myself. And my careful contemplative art had turned into the quick rushed thoughtless trash that, at the same time, I was trying to practice my way out of.
Impatience is a terrible motivational tool. Because it is the desire for an immediate result. But not the desire to work towards it. It does not enjoy the journey, only the destination. So if you are working on something while suffering from impatience, you'll feel a sense of frustration as you haven't already finished what you started, or that should have started and finished a long time ago. Then when you complete it. And you feel relieved. But only for a moment. As your impatience begs you to start the cycle again.
Where could this impatience coming from? Why do you have these fake missed deadlines stopping you from enjoying the process of your work? Well like most things, I like to put blame on the internet for this. As sometimes we look online and we see ridiculous things. Sometimes they are true. Because humans can sometimes be ridiculously amazing. You might see a 12 year old that can paint like Rembrandt, or you might see a fetus making incredible etchings on the inner wall of its placenta. Or something else absurd. And then you might be thinking to yourself. Has my moment for improvement passed?
Then you might find yourself looking at the endless amount of stuff that is generated for the internet. The enormous mass of content which is being fermented into a giant airy substanceless mess by the so called 'artificial intelligence'. And at least on a subconscious level, you may be wondering how someone like yourself, a human being, could ever compete?
I would like to remind you of the American legend of John Henry. For those of you not familiar. Here is a short summary. He was possibly born in the 1850's. And worked as a steel driver for railroad construction. Which means he was drilling holes into rock using nothing but a giant hammer and a steel spike. He was known to be the strongest and fastest man working on the railroad. Then, as the legend goes, a sales man arrived claiming that his steam powered drilling machine is faster than any man. So John agreed to a competition. He hammed faster and harder than ever before. And after he had beat the machine, triumphantly with hammer in hand, he died from exhaustion.
Now many people see this story as something inspirational. As just the strength of one person can prove to the world that hard honest work isn't obsolete. Or something like that. I look at more like a cautionary tale. The man paid the ultimate price to out hammer the machine. A machine that could only do one thing. But John saw a collection of metal and steam doing only part of his day job and saw it as a threat to his value as a human being. And then he fought to the death to prove his worth. But he wasn't just a drilling machine. He had other skills on the railroad. Apparently he could play the banjo as well. And he had a family to go home to.
The internet isn't a competition. And there is no competition with artificial intelligence. Why would you even want to try? You can't out slop a machine that's designed to produce slop. Because you're more than that.
You should just be concerned with your own piece of paper. Your own personal development. And operate at the best speed for the greatest long term results. Don't despondently compare yourself with others and resign yourself to failure. Why would you do such a thing? Were you only going to satisfied by overtaking them all in some 'worlds greatest human being' competition?
Are you still going to look at high achievers younger than you and then declare 'well that ship has sailed'.
What ship? There are no ships! Are you telling me that you believe that life is only made up of fleeting 'one time only' decisions? Sure there may be less optimal times to do something. Maybe you really had better opportunities in the past. When things would have been really easy and you didn't recognise it at the time. But I can guarantee, no matter how old you are now, that right now someone is being born that is more disadvantaged than you in every way. And you know what they're going to do? They're going to try to improve anyway. Because they know of nothing else.
You have let your opportunities make you weak.
Then in your impatience to catch up to some fantasy version of yourself. You became frustrated.
Your frustration then became an impediment to progress.
The very lack of progress you were frustrated about.
And in your frustration you forgot why you started in the first place.
You enjoy the process. That was your original motivation, and the only one you needed.
I like to draw.
There should be no need to be impatient with something you enjoy.